they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
