She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
