u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize