You work out of a Hotel?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
