if only i could text you this smell
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
