My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
