The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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