Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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