all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's always time for handjobs
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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