We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
