We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
