your room smells of hookers.
And success
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
