I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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