I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
