i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It was confusing and full of hummus
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
