could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
