Ambien. No doubt about it.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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