is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
