using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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