Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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