I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
