He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
