Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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