So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
