Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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