no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize