Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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