i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
