Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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