so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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