What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize