tell your sister to shave her snatch
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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