This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize