Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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