im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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