the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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