Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You peed on a flamingo?!?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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