Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
