I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
