Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
