I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
