Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
