wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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