for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
