Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize