and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
