How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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