I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
