Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
