if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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