Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
