She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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