my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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