I don't think brook has ever known best
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
