Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
