We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
