please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
