Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
