so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
