he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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