dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
